not quite sure how to tell people my feelings, emotionally. i can’t seem to express myself and people seeing me cry once in awhile is nothing, but when i have a full breakdown, people think it’s unlike me and that i shouldn’t cry. no, it’s very like me. i cry myself to sleep most nights, wishing someone would notice i’m not okay. hoping someone would just tell me that it’s okay to be not okay.

what do i get? absolutely nothing. no one notices, no one bothers to ask if i’m doing fine, because i’m the mood maker. i brighten the mood, not ruin it. i care more about other peoples feelings than i do my own.

i wish my mother wouldn’t say it’s just a phase, that i’ll soon grow out of this “emo” s***. that f****** depression is just something you feel for a short period of time. if that’s the case, why? why hasn’t it gone away for half of my f****** life?

it’s upsetting knowing adults will nag at you and say you’re fine, when they aren’t you. when they have no idea how s***** you feel deep inside.

someone just ask me if i’m okay.. tell me that i’m allowed to cry and pour my feelings out. please.