I feel so fucked up. Life is so hard right now, I feel captured in my own body. I feel I am not doing great, I am trying hard to look good for me but at the end of the day I end up watching Netflix and wasting my time. This pain in my head is slow and gradually killing me. I want to escape, fight or maybe some relief from this pain.
I want to be strong, I am so weak that times I pity myself for all the cowardice and s***** things that I have done. I really want to be a man so that next time my girlfriend doesn’t cheat on me and then put the blame over me. I have lost the inner light, I look inside and there is nothing, literally nothing, its just a void . Maybe I have erased all the dark desires, now I am filled with a void.