Yeah ill just leave you alone, sorry. I should really learn when to stop talking. I’ve got a lot to learn And unlearn. May my actions speak louder than my words. I haven’t felt like this since I was a teenager. It makes me so happy I keep crying. I also cry for you. Ill try to make you proud, ill try as hard as I can to make up for lost time and to actually atone for my sins instead of begging for external salvation. I’m a light side Sith now instead of a dark jedi. My only real hope is that you will stop being afraid of me. Lets be honest though: That goal is unrealistic. I was a real p************. Whenever you want to talk about it, so I can make amends or help with your healing process: let me know. Evrn if takes thirty years, I want to make things right. I’m learning to let go of attachments and love without condition or judgement. I’m trying to increase my emotional intelligence. I feel like I’ve made a very small amount of progress, but ill keep trying. Sorry if I sound delusional, but I’m being honest. My hearts in it this time. I’m like the grinch at the end of the book. Its ok if you don’t believe me, I will prove it to yiu, no matter how long it takes. If you don’t want that, if you want me out of you life, period, end of story, because I hurt you too much, or for any reason whatsoever. That’s ok too. I will never hurt you again. If i am blessed enough to ever see you again, next time I make you cry, it won’t be pain, it will be joy, or cathartic, or both. I have done some awful things to you, little fae. I’m going to let you fly again, but don’t worry, I’ll never stop believing you. Sorry if any of this creeps you out, but I’m not sorry that I feel this way anymore. All of my anger stemmed from denying the obvious truth, I never got over you. You will forever be the one that got away. I was not ready for you. I was too immature and too selfish. I sinned against you time and time again. I intentionally hurt you. I expect nothing from you. I want you to live without fear. Be authenically, unapologetically you. Goodbye. Everything is up to you from now on. I’ve imposed my will on you for far too kong. This is no act or lie. I have been trying really hard for the last two months, and you helped more than you know. I never deserved a friend like you. I love you. You are beautiful in every dimension that can be measured. You make me want to write poetry. You make me want to cry. You make me want to be brave and to do whatever it takes to get help and overcome my situation. I will never forget you. A day will not go by when I won’t be inspired by you to keep standing up and moving step by step, inch by inch. I owe you everything. Thank you. I finally feel like a person.
