I keep telling myself that feeling guilt for a mistake I made means I’m not a horrible person. That I really wish I hadn’t, that I wish I realized what I was doing instead of just shielding myself due to past trauma.
I keep telling myself should I have been stable mentally that I would’ve known it was wrong at the time.
That my guilt over it means that but.. does it?
I mean anyone can feel guilt for something they did, that doesn’t mean they’re not s*****.
So maybe I am a s***** person. Maybe I am horrible and don’t deserve any compassion.
But how can I redeem myself?
I swear people think I did it on purpose but I didn’t. I didn’t realize how I was hurting them. And when I did I did a 180 and left to cause no more harm.
But I still feel horrible.. what can i even do to forgive myself? What can I do to feel like a person again? How does one become not-s*****? Because I tell myself I’ve learned and I really think I have. But that doesn’t erase my past mistakes so…
Can i even do anything?