Why am I so f****** useless? Why do I feel so worthless, so f****** weak?
Every thing I do is just a pity f****** attempt at proving I’m better than I’m actually am. Why is it so f****** hard to get a compliment THAT ISN’T A JOKE OR OUT OF F****** PITY. I don’t get it, girls get showered with compliments all the f****** time. Us guys get people who are f****** ingenuine or people who only make fun of your flaws. My f****** ugly a** dad started dating my mom when he was a teen, in fact, out of all the guys chasing my mom, why did she pick the f****** dumbest, most useless, most f****** arrogant sorry sack of s*** in this f****** country. I literally can’t find a single f****** positive aspect of myself. I always imagine myself in situations where I’m doing great as calm myself down, do you see how fucked that is? I hate myself, I hate how useless I am, I hate how much I rely on others, I hate everything about me. Why it is that people can workout for 2-3 years and get perfect f****** bodies but I’ve been working out for 5 years and everyone still calls me the fat one. I want to f****** kill myself, just go out during a heavy rain at midnight. I’d find a nice quiet spot and jab a knife through my head and let myself bleed out as the rain dilutes my blood, making damn sure I’m never coming back. Yknow people always b**** about bad s*** happening in this country, WELL WHERE’S MY F****** MURDERER WHO’LL RUN ME OVER, STAB ME, I DONT F****** CARE, JUST KILL ME, IS THAT SO F****** HARD TO ASK FOR???
