I got excited. My boyfriend texted me that I could “tell him all about my day later.” I never get to tell him about my day, he always rambles about his day and then falls asleep. Today was no different and it broke my heart a little. He didn’t really want to hear about my day. I’m unimportant. I’m boring.
So the sadness becomes overwhelming. I cry. I hurt myself to replace some of the hurt. I try to get stoned. It doesn’t work. I’m reminded that my safe place doesn’t even want to listen to me. I must really be worthless. He has no idea how much I think about dying because he’s too busy with himself. I just keep it to myself.
If I was pretty and skinny maybe I’d be worth listening to but that’s never going to happen.
