I want to die. I don’t think I should have been born. I was a last choice from my parents and they wouldn’t been happier without me. I hope they are happy once I leave. Can’t wait. I’ve thought about killing myself so many times. Life would be better or just easier if I could not live it. Maybe if I was born to a different family things would’ve been different or better. But I wasn’t and this is what happened. Everything is just a painful reminder of how I’m not good enough for them and how I don’t fit their standards. They love all my friends and give them compliments all the time. I really want to love my parents I really do but it’s just so hard because they make it hard. I understand that I’m hard to love too but they don’t try to adjust to help me. We have very different views and they just don’t understand. My mom is overly dramatic and toxic and manipulative and my dad is just mean and doesn’t care about me or see anything from my point of view. He also scares me. My mom is verbally abusive. I’m sorry to anyone who took the time to read this. I just don’t have anywhere else to put this and here seemed like an ok spot no one would find.
