i wish i could kill myself, i feel really bad all the time, i don’t like to think i’m depressive, because i still smile sometimes, and i think depressive people don’t do that..?
i don’t want to be those kind of people that say they’re depressed just so they can have some attention… But i really think my sadness isn’t normal sometimes…
I wish i could just end it all, but thinking about death makes me afraid
i don’t think i wanna die, i just think i want to be happy… or at least don’t feel bad
i’ve been feeling like s*** for about six years now, and my pain doesn’t seems to get better
my mom doesn’t help me… I have considerated having ADHD but she doesn’t seems to believe that i have something
my boyfriend is really good to me, he makes me better sometimes, being with him makes me calm, but somedays even him can’t make me feel better
i feel like my life will always be this way, i can’t do things normally, i can’t think straight anymore… nothing seems to make..sense… i feel like all my days are a dream… i feel so lazy… empty… and yet, sad… so sad.
i think i have something called “emotional blockage” and it has been affecting my life in many ways…
the worst part its that i can’t even kill myself, i mean… i could stab myself, i could throw myself in front of a car, i could poison myself… but in all these possibilities I could still come out alive, that’s my biggest fear…
The good thing its that i stopped self-harming myself, although i miss it sometimes, i haven’t done it for 1 year i think…
i don’t know… i just wish things would get better, nothing that anyone says to me makes me better, i don’t think happy words will sove my problems, i just wanted to medicate or something like that…
but it seems so far from my reality
i can’t see the world as something real, just seems like a dream, my mind it’s always lazy like i just woke up…
i try to live one day at a time but i just can’t do that anymore…
i don’t feel motivated by anything…
i hope writting in these makes me feel better, it already did… a little…
if you are reading this, i don’t know what to say to you…but… if you feel like me maybe you should seek for help… i tried but my mom don’t help me with that… but maybe your’s do… or maybe someone you trust…
