I’m tired of trying. I feel like no matter what I do, this p************ binge eating will control me for the rest of my life. That no one will have faith in me. I’m tired of going to therapy, going to groups, trying to change my life, and for what? I don’t feel any different. I still get yelled at for the times I f*** up, and all it does is make me want to eat more, drown out the pain.
I’m so tired of trying. Why bother when no one has any faith in me getting better? When everyone will just turn and walk away? It’s so lonely to exist like this and sometimes I wish I could just disappear for a while.
I don’t want to be present in this world, rather would be in the beautifully crafted stories in my head. Those are far more vibrant, far more happy then this life of mine feels like it ever will be.
