I dont know what or when it went wrong. I just know that one day I started being sad and it just never f****** stopped. It feels more and more lonely each day and at this point id rather be burned alive than have to live through this because I’m screaming in my own head and nobody gives a s*** and some people can’t afford therapy but how much would that even help because I wouldn’t tell them about the amount of times I think about ending it daily and every time I see any sort of danger I am overwhelmed with this urge to just, go for it. But I don’t. somebody once told me suicide is selfish because you are only transferring your pain onto others. i don’t want to be selfish. i just want it to stop. to just stop, without me doing anything, I’m already doing so much every day…. for once I want something to happen for me. i have nobody to reach out to so I guess here I am trying to somehow get this off my chest. i don’t want to do it but the light at the end of this f****** endless tunell is fading.
