i’m a girl, and i had a friend. lets call her jess. so me and jess met each other when i moved to her school in the 4th grade. we didn’t become friends till the 5th. she is so beautiful, and was a great friend. i already had thoughts of same s** attraction, and as we grew closer tbh i started to like her. now hear this part, she is straight or claims to be, but i swear i felt her attraction too. she would unnecessarily touch me all the time, more than her other friends. she would want to be closer to me, like outside if we were playing, sleepovers, or in general everywhere. it wasn’t constantly tho which is good? anyways, she got suuuper close to my face very often, and the closest she ever got was when i was at her house for her sisters (she was a good friend, no attraction just a fun person) 13th or 14th birthday. she got so close that if we got any closer we’d be kissing. i only pulled away because her sister was on her bed on the other side of the room, if she wasnt there we wouldve kissed that day. now when we were around 13 i said i had a crush, and made her guess, she said a name or two then she said “me?” and i said something else but it wasn’t an answer. then she said a name then “um me?” and i said “nah” and then she spammed other guys name from our class like anthony noah dakota n so on. after i said its food. and she laughed. but i feel like she wanted me to say yes when she said “me”. then part of me feared shed drop me and it be all ruined. the tension was insane when we were near eachother all the time and thinking back i shouldve taken that leap. around 14 my depression got severe after moving away from her school in 2016. i guess i started acting weird and all and by 2018 her and her sister stopped hanging out with me. christmas eve 2019. the worst day of my life. i got drunk and confessed all my feelings to her. she said im sorry i like boys. and i poured my heart out. i didnt get a reply till about 2 months later when she said “i had to think long about it” and she told me that she got upset that i said it was her fault i got attracted to her. when tbh if she acted like all our other friends it wouldn’t of happened. so now were in grade 12, go to separate schools and only have eachother on snapchat because i added her on her 17th bday. suprised she added me back tbh. in conclusion. i honestly think she felt the same, she just has a too big of an ego to admit it or cares more about impression. but my confession is basically i am still painfully in love with her. 5 years later and my heart still flames for her the same. they say it takes half the amount of time to get over someone, so im due to be out of love dec 24th 2022.
