I hate that you were killed. I loved you so much. You were my only sibling. I never got to see you grow up and have your own life. I never got to see you be happy. I hate so many things. I think about you everyday, Bubba. I miss you so bad. Somedays are harder than others. I look at my daughter, and can’t believe you’ve been gone that long. It feels like you left yesterday to me. I still remember everything about that day. No one understands what I feel. When I visit your grave, I die inside. I turn into that stupid, naive 19 year old. Part of me died when you did. I’ll never get over that pain. Never. I love you so much. I wonder who you wouldve became. I wonder what you’d think of me. I loved you like you were my own child. It killed me when you left. I’ve never been the same. I know God has a purpose, and that’s what I hold onto. You were my brother for a reason, and I know that you knew I loved you. I know you loved me, too. Thank you for clapping for me when I sang in the talent shows. Thank you for always being there, even when I pushed you away. Thank you for walking me down the aisle. I couldn’t let you lay there in that hospital room alone when you were killed. Nobody else wanted to go in there, but I wouldn’t leave you. Id have held your hand if I couldve. I know you’re asleep now, and I wanted to tell you so much. My life fell apart when you were killed. But, God changed me. I only wish things would’ve been better for us when we were kids. Thank you for always loving me. I love you and miss you so much. I will never forget you. Your niece has your smile. I tell her about you, how you loved her. She’s 21 now, and she was only 2 months old when you left. I wish I’d been better to you, and loved you more. If I close my eyes, I can still feel you hugging me in the last picture we had made together. My heart will never heal from the void you’ve left. I will love you until my last breath.