I always try to be that person to catch your tears, I always try my hardest to show everyone how much I appreciate them in my life, I always try my best to be there for everyone and emotionally understand everyone, My mom says I could be a good, “therapist”.
Every time I lie to someone I feel guilty, I feel terrible, even if the lie didn’t have a big impact I still feel terrible pain. especially when they found out I lied, it makes me seem untrustworthy worthy and then I’d hate myself for it.
But there is this person, this person im more attached to than anything, I’m more attached to him than I am to my grandma, and me and her have an unbreakable bond. I feel like nothing I feel like a dark cold sadness whenever I’m not around him for a certain period of time, whenever I overthink about him leaving me for the person he was originally with I don’t feel like myself, I get it she is more, “ThIcKeR” than me, her voice is super hot and mine is just deep, She has a great memory and does good in school.
I wanna make him happy, I wanna give him all of my love, I have never felt this way about anyone at all, I am in love with this feeling it’s like a drug, but a good one. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I wanna be in his future have kids maybe, sure this is, “young love” but it’s still the truth and you can’t change the way you feel for some. Especially if you have a huge emotional attachment to someone. I have done things with him I haven’t done before or with anyone, it was my first time. I was really insecure about how, “ThIcK I aM”, and he is like that one song from tik tok, “I don’t care if they’re little put them b**** in my face”.
I’m afraid I’ll lose him. It’s like living in a nightmare, it’s like, “hell” a place that pains you for eternity. I’m just terrified of being in that, “place” I don’t wanna lose him. I have so much more to offer than she does.
I’m super upset that “she” started a rumor about how I’m Lying about my age and how I, “told her things” and how I did a bunch of stuff because she’s a homewrecker, homewrecker means someone who ruins relationships. And if he believes those things because of a tiny little lie I told I’m so done with love.
Another thing that s****, I am very loyal I have never cheated, I have never broken up with anyone, I have never traded someone I love for another love… But instead, I was the one who got traded, I have never experienced the feeling of what it’s like to break up with someone if you catch my drift, like I have never said to anyone, “I’m breaking up with you” I have just the one who’s been told. 🙁
Adding on to that, I’m a natural flirt, we go to different schools because he’s a grade above me so he would go to high school, anyway Its hard to stay loyal, “usually” I’d be flirting with a lot of people, but with him I don’t feel like flirting, with my past relationships all I wanted to do was flirt, flirt, flirt, but I don’t want to this time, and that’s really something if you’re a natural flirt.
My favorite word is to say sorry. :):
I’m Fricking crazy for him. It’s either someone dies at his wedding or my dream comes true at mine. [ iykyk >:) ]
He shows me something, he’s giving me something, and my body is just super into it, there is something about him that makes him super special to me. He’s on my mind 24/7. Sometimes I wonder if he could be my soulmate. I think we are but I don’t think he feels the same, as in the phrase, “I love you more” Is super true. I love him way too much, I am obsessed with him.
But, “she” traded him, she left him for another. Now that gives me a chance to let me show him how he deserves to be treated. <3
L x M <3