If you really knew me you would know that I struggle with self esteem. I struggle with my body. I think being fat makes my ugly. And when I become ugly

5 years

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If you really knew me you would know that I struggle with self esteem. I struggle with my body. I think being fat makes my ugly. And when I become ugly I’m scared that I’ll never get loved because I’m less of a person. When I’m not beautiful there is nothing to cover up my inner nature of a horrible human being. I’m scared they’ll truly know who I am just like my family and treat me horribly just like them. And all the time I fail at being beautiful, and I punish myself by binge eating and saying self hatred things. I also distract myself by cutting and indulging in alcohol. Substance abuse was always a big problem with my dad. He was an abusive horrible man. Deep down I think my mom knows there’s him in me. I think that’s what makes me a truly horrible person. I am my dad. The more I try to escape this the more I come closer to reality.

New Confession

I miss being 13 and going through puberty, it was just me and My mom, she was gone alot working or out with friends, She would leave early on a Sunday morning and go hang out with her friends, Id wake up after she left had the morning hardon, having to pee, plus I slept naked, I walked out to the front fully naked except id have my sandals on take leak out in the front yard completely n***, we had a new trailer mom bought us and we was on her dads land after they passed away, so lots of privacy, After I peed in the yard I would walk down a long dirt road and get the mail from the mailbox across the paved road from our long dirt driveway, id spend most of the days Naked and masterbating.

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Sister Marie told Carm that their meeting was about “oh, just something,” implying that there was no significant or serious matter to discuss.

Sister Marie intended to question Carm about the intimate details of her father’s death.

Sister Marie Howorth knew that this was a serious and sensitive subject, not a trivial matter.

Sister Marie Howorth deliberately described the meeting as insignificant to prevent Carm from anticipating the true nature of the conversation.

Therefore, Sister Marie Howorth lied to Carm about the purpose of their meeting.