I'm sorry for ghosting you for over half a year. The guilt has been on my shoulders since then, and I still have a crush on you. June 2020, when I first

5 years

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I’m sorry for ghosting you for over half a year. The guilt has been on my shoulders since then, and I still have a crush on you. June 2020, when I first developed feelings for you, I started listening to cavetown. One of the first songs I listened to was Green, and when I heard the words I cried to it. I still listen to cavetown today. But the lyrics said “I hope you feel happy. That’s all I want.” I didn’t want to in a friendship with you anymore. I wanted to be more. You said you liked someone else though. That hurt me a lot. To this day, I still love you. Just like the lyrics said, “I hope you feel happy. That’s all I want.” You deserve a person better than me. To this day, I think about you everyday since I ghosted you. I am still in pain. I deserve the pain, after all the pain I caused you. It’s hard for me to move on. I felt like I known you better then my best friend. And, right now, I don’t want to move on. I don’t want someone else. I want you to be my destiny. I want to see you again in the future and apoligize for all my mistakes. At the same time, I really want you to be happy. I lie to everyone, saying I don’t like you. This school year, without you, I almost failed. I shouldn’t blame it on you. I blame it on myself.

New Confession

i tried nitrous for the first time last week, on his birthday. it was kind of underwhelming. i think i already have a tolerance from past ketamine abuse since it acts on the same receptors

i am thinking of doing ketamine again. i do it every few months or so now. im tired of snorting lines though and ive been thinking a lot about injecting it again. IV is like a dream, but apparently its easy to “pass out” before you can take the needle out of your arm, so im worried about taking really high doses. IM takes a little more time, but it leaves you with muscle pain for a few days wherever you shoot it up.

ive had a plate of lines sitting in my room for like a month now. itd be easiest to do those, i just hate the long 12 hour comedown when i take enough for a k hole….

Related Confessions

I haven’t decided whether to record my exit strategy. This helium-based strategy isn’t particularly gory, so I think it’d be suitable for recording. If it can be of benefit to the medical research community then I feel like it’d be a good thing to do. During one of my “test” attempts, I found that I subconsciously ripped the bag off my head. I will need to remedy this by cuffing my hands to a sturdy frame, and then turning on the gas. You did this, Fiserv.