• 2 weeks ago

i hate my sensitivity. i am a very empathetic and sensitive person. growing up i always was bullied, teased, mocked or made fun of for being sensitive. i know i sound like a karen rn but idc, i literally have no one to talk to about any of my feelings or problems and i always hold them in. there is this guy im into and i am hanging out with him (this JUST happened.) and his friend, and they were talking badly about girls of my religion, saying they are monsters with fish guts and saying they are all crazy and ugly and how they’d never love one… i just broke down and cried. i was able to hide it. at first i was like “ouch im that religion” and then i just stopped saying anything because i didn’t want to fight but it really hurts. i don’t know why im so sensitive. i really like him and it hurts to hear him say and laugh at things like that. i wont hold it against him, it just adds to my own complex but it just hurts so bad. i want to cry my eyes out but im holding it in. i dont want to seem like a snowflake but hearing mean things from someone you really like just hurts. it hurts. i have a lot of depression and anxiety (diagnosed by medical professional) pent up inside me and no one to go to. im guess im just so pent up from every thing else that it wants to spill out. they are getting suspicious now so i have to go! thanks for reading (if anyone does) and for anyone wondering, the reason i dont have medication or cant take it is because last month i cut them open and poured them all into a drink as part of my suicide plan but i didnt have the guts to take it so now im out of meds and my doctor is out of town. anyways bya!