your scent on my shirt….
your perfume on my notebook….
your clothes in my closet….
your pictures on my laptop….
your messages on my phone….
your gift in my bag…
your bible under my pillow….
the way you laugh when i say “tanjaret”…
the way you tell me “yo2norne tizik”…
the way you blink when you are nervous…
the way you lift my shirt and kiss my belly…
the way you breathe in my neck when we hug…
the way your body feels against mine….
the way you look at me right before you say “i love you”….
it hurts me to think that you will be in the arms of someone else
it hurts me to think that i will never get to call you my wife
it hurts me to think that when i wake up in the morning you will not be there
it kills me too feel something this strong,
something this intense……
something this true….
and reminding myself that i should let go, that it is a sin
it kills me that you feel the same way about me and yet i have to look at you from a distance,
when all i want is for my life with you to start……
Sasha