For my birthday I got nothing. All I wanted was a happy birthday in person, from his mouth, with a big hug and kiss but it turned into tears. For Christmas I got a card and some money. He forgot Valentine’s Day. He forgot our anniversary but got me a card same day out of guilt.
For his birthday we had a cake, gift and invited our friend over to chill and get wrecked with us. For Christmas I went a little overboard but I wanted to spoil him because it’s his favorite holiday. For Valentine’s Day I got him a card. For our anniversary I got him a card and personalized gift. When he went away for 6 weeks I did was his sole visitor and brought him anything he needed and then some.
I don’t know why I’m so forgettable. It makes me really sad.. I’m treating him the way I want to be treated but it’s not coming back to me. His anxiety always comes first. I do extras for him all the time and try so hard to be understanding and loving.
He loves to talk and be heard but doesn’t do the same for me. As soon as I’m done talking he’s on to his next thought. When I need reassurance I go to my guy best friend to talk and it breaks my heart.
I’m afraid that this is all going to spill out today so I’d try spilling here first. I feel like I’m not worthy of his attention but he wants all of mine.
