I feel like absolute f****** s*** lately. It feels so hard to stay positive no matter what. I’m just doing my best to be happy but I feel so damn fatigued lately. It’s starting to get a bit hard to even get up and I have to motivate myself to. I keep thinking about a time where a family member came over. She had manipulated me for 2 years beforehand, and even when she ran away and began living elsewhere – she still stressed out my Mom and I. When she came over she was acting sweet and I thought that was just her tricking me again. I panicked so f****** much I couldn’t even stay in the same room as her. I had to keep myself calm, reassure everyone I was alright and keep going. The entire stay I made sure to be in another room, but I hear her and the rest of my family having fun. They were all laughing but when I came in, they just look worried and my Mom told me I was overreacting. I feel like s***. I just want things to be simple. I f****** hate it.