I’m a little suicidal, moody in an extreme sense , I just want to scream and rant and rave until I fall asleep! It’s the only relief I have from suffering like this . I truly wanna live , but I want the pain and suffering to end . Whatever it takes just to gain a sense of happiness and joy . I would do it . But truthfully? I do not have a clue anymore about what could possibly make me happy! I somehow think .. Even a lottery wouldn’t help me in the long term . I just want my mind to feel a sense of peace again . I’m skipping meds ! That is bad for a woman with schizophrenia! I just want to feel alive ! I want to smile and be happy again ..I just don’t understand why I’m sooo upset . May God help me !!
