I’ve been s******* assaulted and abused so many times I don’t think I will ever be normal about s**. I still look at every person in terms of safe or not safe. I know I am a mess about it but I don’t know what to do.
One of my friends died due to suicide and I got drunk and cried all night years ago. I was alone in the house and asked my best friend to stay with me because I couldn’t cope with the guilt I felt. He held me and the minute I fell asleep he started groping me. I was just frozen and heartbroken. This has happened to me before. I just couldn’t move. Eventually his alarm went off and he left to drive someone to work. I quickly locked the door and didn’t answer his knocks.
I don’t know why this, out of everything, haunts me the most.
