My heart feels broken. I feel like my life took 10 steps back in the last year with Covid. My dreams of travelling the world limited. I am vaccinated, but I do not want the Covid vacc. It was too rushed, and too profitable. Not only that but they claim that even if the population was entirely vaccinated that we still can’t return to normal. I hardly see anyone anymore. I couldn’t afford my apartment and had to go back to my parents. It’s hard to get up everyday, let alone go to work. I don’t have a car. I’m trapped, isolated, in this 8×10 room. It’s driving me crazy. I broke up with my LDR boyfriend because the relationship was turning abusive. He was cruel when I did get to see him in person. Only wanting me for s** and then he had no care for me. Even though I was the one to pay for his flight. I just feel so trapped. I have PTSD and depression and anxiety as it is. It’s frowned upon by my parents. They don’t believe it. I feel so hurt and pained by my existence and I’ve been spending my days crying in bed – for weeks. My only solice is in the endless stories I can read online, or endless films. Yet despite that solice, the minute I end a book, or finish a series, my heart breaks harder than before. My only solice is in nonexistant fantasies that will never hold true. I’m barely holding on by a thread and I don’t know what to do. I’m so pathetic. I don’t even have the strength to just end it; I’m too weak. I’m disgusting.
