I’m in a relationship that’s horrible for me, but I love him too much to leave. It honestly feels like I’m being shredded from the inside with knives. I become so euphoric when I’m around him, though. He’s like a drug. I don’t value my life except for him. I relapsed and I’ve been getting high regularly to cope with the pain of this relationship. I want to leave him, but I’m afraid the pain of it will destroy me completely. It’s really hard having mental illness and being in a bad relationship. I’ve broken up with him before and I felt so free. Then, he won me back, again, and I started this journey of agony. The highs are the highest and the lows are the lowest. He’s so unhealthy for me. I wish I could stand it. I want to be with him, but the way he treats me is ruining my life.