I’m terrified. Tonight I looked up and saw the sky, the night sky. My cold breath that turned into a cloud as it hit the air as I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in. My eyes drifted to the moon, and the first thing I thought of was you. The moon was beautiful, and it reminded me of you. That terrified me. The way it lit up the sky, as you do a room. As my gaze diverted to the stars, you still on my mind, my heart swelled and my chest tightened. The twinkle they had was almost identical to the one in your eyes.

Even the most raw and natural things in the world remind me of you. It makes me feel scared, angry, sad, disappointed. Because while you occupy my thoughts, my everyday thoughts with no escape. I am merely a background character in your life and I wonder if you were to look up at the sky tonight would you think of me? Surely not so whom would you think of? Would you think of anyone at all? Or would you just appreciate the moon for its natural beauty?

I’ll never know, but you’ll take up my nightly thoughts now more than ever, because now I look at the moon.

And I think of you.