Sometimes i feel like I’m just an option. I hate feeling like it. Like i did when i was a kid. I was the throw away kid. I now feel like it again. Only

6 years

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Sometimes i feel like I’m just an option. I hate feeling like it. Like i did when i was a kid. I was the throw away kid. I now feel like it again. Only this time with the guy in my life. I don’t feel like i matter to anyone. I just am an old shoe. I’m “comfortable’ drama Free. Piece of cake. I dont know why i am sooo scared to be real. I have wasted years on a man that never put me first. Its me. I do most of the sacrificing. I wasted years of a career. I neglected myself. for a man. I need healing. I need to distance myself. He blew me off today. But he taught me how to live and thrive without him today. Tomorrow? I will be stronger. I will ignore him. I need to in order to save my sanity. I think I’m too close to him. I depended on him to ‘be there” and he wasn’t. He just vanished today. No goodbye. Just..p***. …so i think I’ll let go. Its time i met some new people. Its just hard. I hate goodbyes. Its like someone dies. I hate it. I don’t hate him. I just am scared to trust him to be there. He isn’t thoughtful of me. He forgets me sometimes. Its okay. But it puts my back up against a wall and I wont move or budge. Is time I grew my backbone..and stood strong. and did what i have to do. Its time.

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