I f****** hate my life even though its almost xmas I still feel like s***. Im currently grounded for the 50th time this week. why because I didnt bring my phone downstairs at exactly 9 I was reading something and lost track of time. but it doesnt matter what I say because there always looking for a reason to take my phone. now I dont wanna die just because of that if that where the case then I wouldnt have been been abble to put up with it for as long as i did (btw i dont have my phone im using a computer im only supposed to use for school work.) anyways her are some more reasons i feel like s*** and wanna die 1. my parents always complain about me im 16 the oldest yet i cant seem to act like a human being. they litterly have nothing nice to say about me unless there around people there trying to impress. 2. ive been trying to get my mom to finish my working papers espessially since i just got my permit (witch btw she comes up with excuses not to teach me to try). she finally finished them i applied to one place before shes now saying some dumb a** s*** to keep me from applying. but then my parents go on to complain about how lazy i am. 3. i have visited a mental hospital before for a month and a half. now every time i feel anything other than happy she says “you havent taken your meds yet have you” like shut the hell up my meds dont change the fact that im pissed at you. dont get me wrong its not just my mother its my step father as well. it doesnt matter what the hell i do im always doing something wrong. im just so sick and tired of everything. i want to just die but every time i try and kill myself i fail. i just want to break down and cry but then im critizied for crying. not only this but my parents think its okay to post about my personal life and problems on facebook for everyone to see and her excuse when i confronted her was “maybe emmbarrement will make you start being responsible” like NO f*** you it just makes me more deppressed and every one wonders why i dont tell them how i feel! why because you people have nothing good to say. for fucks sake i rather go back to the mental hospital but i cant cause then ill be stuck in a prison and half to listen to my familys complaining about how i thing this all a game. i just wanna slam my head into a wall untile i die i wish i would have jumped (my last attempt a year ago was trying to jump from a bridge). I wish he overdose attemt i tried would have worked. i wish the hannging attempt wod have worked. im just sick and tired of being in this cage. i just want to f****** commit suicide.