6 years
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FI’m so sorry. I know she would be so proud of you. If I had been here, I’d like to think I could have done something to stop it. I made ma promise not to have guests overwhen i wasn’t there but they went behind me back and it ended in tragedy. I don’t know how long this lucidity will last, but I’ve been in love with you for years. I was so jealous and miserable, it was just easier to lie to myself and then I got so angry. I only flipped out that night because I was already in love with you and scared to death i was going to lose you. My cruelty is a shield for my pain. I’m not making excuses, just explaining things I should have been honest about. Please don’t hurt yourself. I made you a playlist…it says what I feel better than I can.

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