do you ever jus sit and think… and you jut keeping picturing and picturing what happened that day and its slowly crippling you on the inside and your friends are slowly realising that all those suicide jokes you made weren’t jokes.. and it hurts to see everyone you ever left replace you one by one and its killing you because you know you will never be somebodys number one. All i need is somebody who will stick by me but i cant my own mother didn’t want me ,, she told me shed love me forever and that’ll never change because i finally accepted that i can never be truly loved ,, everyone chose them over me. Even my dad a best friend my brother who i love more than anything and everything took everything away from me without even realising they gave him everything. i watch them watch him lie he’s the only f****** thing that they’ve ever seen like i was never born. I just want her to love me like she loves him for just five minutes i want to be her number one one more time. its been nine goddamn years and i’m barely coping she left me she decided i wasn’t worth it she decided my abusive dad was better than i am the man that beat her black and blue was better than the girl she raised the four year old blue eyed blondie with a massive heart, I just want her to love me for five minutes
just five minutes