I’m so tired, both mentally and emotionally.

I honestly hate how I am but I’m coming to terms to accept it. These days, I know everyone just says to be yourself but it’s so hard when you’re clearly so different. I’m not even the good different. I can tell that everyone’s just weirded out by me.

I used to be conserved and all but yeah obviously it hurt when you’re not being yourself. Recently I have been trying to just be me and think less of what I say. But everytime I feel like I’m actually being true, I hear f****** silence. You know how much pain that makes someone feel. I feel like no one really understands me. And I’m not so unaware that I know I am not “alone.” But it really feels like it. I’m quite stubborn that I want company and understanding be real, not just words but actual visual and physical understanding.

I’m so frustrated. I’m not even mad at the people around me cause I know there’s nothing wrong with them but I can feel myself just directing this anger at myself.

(Note I’m not suicidal or anything… I’m just so f****** tired)