I force myself to stay awake through the night to intentionally mess my body up. I know that it is contributing to a lot of my problems but I just want to

6 years

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I force myself to stay awake through the night to intentionally mess my body up.
I know that it is contributing to a lot of my problems but I just want to f*** myself up.
I am too scared to cut, too scared to do anything that will leave a mark, so I self harm in this indirect way.
Its addicting.

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