I have a lot of anxiety. And my biggest struggle is my social anxiety. It’s gotten to the point where I’m anxious and insecure even with my siblings. I’m an adult and have four adult siblings. While they all like to hang out and talk to each other, I never visit them or even call them. It’s not that I don’t want to, in fact I really want to visit them and talk to them. But I don’t because my anxiety is so out of control. I know it’s irrational but I feel like they never want me around and they think I’m boring or something. The fear that they would be annoyed if I visited them. The fear that if I called them they would only pick up out of obligation. The fear that I’m the sibling they dread seeing. The fear that if I opened up about it they would think I’m doing it for attention. All those fears eat away at me. And all those fears are severely affecting my ability to spend time with my siblings. And the worst part is I know that it’s all lies my brain is making up. But I still can’t stop the feelings.
