I'm not sure I deserve to live but that is not my decision to make. I am ready for a new woman in my life. I worry she'd have to compete with my work. I

6 years

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I’m not sure I deserve to live but that is not my decision to make. I am ready for a new woman in my life. I worry she’d have to compete with my work. I fall into the same trap where I want to break up but don’t. I feel inxapable of a casual relationship because I think I need the emotional security more than s**. I am not a “nice guy” if I am not nice to myself.

New Confession

Where in the fuc are we goin now?

wade garrett

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My wife knew i was a recovering s** addict when we dated, when we married, and knew that it stemmed from childhood maternal molestation many years ago. She knows i will not act out, that i love her too much to do that to her, and she knows to the degree any non s** addict can how exhausting the onslaught of compulsive intrusive s***** thoughts are. But she still rejects my sincere well motivated desire for surgical or chemical castration and i cannot understand why. We have a platonic relationship so it would be zero loss to either of us.