My ex and I broke up in October on really good terms. We’ve been friends ever since and he recently expressed he still has feeling for me and we had a good discussion about everything and he decided that he wanted to put more effort into figuring himself out, going to therapy, and being better friends with me. I was so excited. Things were going really well for a bit and I was really happy with the progress he was making. Then out of nowhere a mutual friend opened up about being raped by one of his friends. The things my ex said to our mutual friend and to me were so disrespectful and horrible. It caused us so much stress and pain and was hugely disappointing. My ex ended up going to our mutual friend to apologize, but wasn’t prepared for the apology at all and honestly did not see the situation as a huge deal overall which was even more hurtful. I never even got an apology or any sort of conversation about what happened. A week after the initial issues, he’s just texting me like normal with jokes and everything. I asked him if we could call and warned him it would not be a fun call and that he should make sure he’s in a good mental/physical place to have this conversation. We called, i read him out a thing i write that basically stated how and why i was so hurt and that i wanted to limit communication with him for a while and hope that one day we can reconnect and have a better relationship. I got a “Is that everything you have to say?” and an “okay bye.” before he hung up. Next thing I know, I am blocked on every social media platform and left with a huge pit in my stomach and an aching heart. I’m so heartbroken and I have had dreams with him in it every night since. I feel like crying. We have been through a lot together and I supported him so intensely for years as friends and partners. This heart break feels worse than when we ended our 2 year relationship because he was moving. I miss him and I cannot stop thinking about him. I know it was for the best and I need to just let things happen how the happen and hope that one day he’s able to have a conversation about everything that has happened, but f*** it hurts and I feel so guilty.
