When I was a boy my parents were very strict, with cruel and unusual punishments.
I had 4 brothers and 3 sisters and if I got bad marks on my report card my parents would put me through a punishment they called “morning thunder”. Mom would prepare a rich dinner and always a very sweet dessert (banana splits usually, I couldn’t have one) and upon waking up each of my siblings and my parents would take turns farting onto my face, which was mandatory.
After awhile they seemed to enjoy it, high fives, saying “oh that was smelly!” or “I’ve got a good one, move!” etc. Just one a** in my face after another, sphincters opening and closing and that dreaded sound and sickly sweet smell. Sometimes they’d even get in line for a second round if they had more. It really hurt.
“If you’re going to be a s***** student, you’re going to smell like s***” my dad explained.
As soon as I turned 18 I joined the military just to get away from them and then went to college and then med school. I’m now a physician and rarely speak to my siblings (Dad is dead and Mom is nearly joining him).
I sometimes think about going into Mom’s nursing home and playing a little “morning thunder” with her. See how much she likes it.
