I am in love with a 22 yr woman, and I’m a 48 yr old man.
It’s not infatuation or a crush, I know the difference.
Her and I have been off and on friends for 4 yrs….best friends oddly at one point.
We’ve not slept together. It’s only gotten to the cuddly thing and laying in bed next to one another.
She cares about me and even at one time I’m sure loved me in a “friendzone” way.
I’ve confessed my feelings in the past, and have tried to just be friends, really I’ve tried just to eat my feelings and be the friend she needs. But things always get weird.
I’ve dated other girls and her other boys , during our friendship.
My feelings often put a wedge between us and we’ve stopped talking since DEC.
Her and I just started talking again as strange as it seems. We get along so damn well when we are friends, and it’s like we’re dating..but she holds back and I push…
I cant kick these feelings for her and every time we start hanging out…I don’t know how to quit.
It’s the same thing over and over again.
Despite the age difference “which is one of the things I guess that keeps us apart, I feel” I’ve tried to let her go.
More than once ,but we end up coming back into one another’s lives.
She is not a tease or any of that misogynist BS , and I’m not some creeper perv who wants to bang a young girl.
I can’t talk about this with anyone.
Not our mutual friends… no one.
I hate my life without her in it and I am miserable because we’re only as close as she wants/is willing to let us to be.
I just don’t know what to do and wish we would just be together or never see one another ever,ever again. I wish I was stronger but I am so weak for her ,and it drives me crazy because in all my life I’ve never felt like this about anyone…NEVER? I feel like I’m just eating s*** all the time because of it.
