• 4 years ago
  • 268 Views

I want to see you. I want hugs and kisses and cuddles. The thing is, I know that I won’t get what I need so I’m going to stay away from you tonight. My feelings will be hurt if you pull away when I need a hug and I’ll feel worse than I do now. You’re not that physically affectionate and that’s just the way it is. All I ever want is your attention, James. I’m so sorry for being needy; you know that I wasn’t treated properly and kept men at arms length. Now I just want to be close to you all the time. I’m sorry. Depression eats me alive; I hate myself and I’m always mad at myself. I can’t do anything right. I’m fat and ugly. It won’t be long before you start looking at other girls. I’m usually really good at hiding how I feel though and focusing on helping you makes it easier to push down. Tonight I’ll take some oxy’s and try to sleep. Sleep is the only escape I have from myself and if I can’t I’m going to end up hurting myself.

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