What can this be considered as? A pain, a fantasy, a truth, a random feeling, a lie, a guilt; All of it. I don’t know who I am and I feel as if I’m always acting as the positive/hopeful ones for my family and friends, but in reality I’m scared I’m going to kill myself. I daydream about driving my car into a wall, about peacefully jumping off a bridge, overdosing, hanging, all of it. I’m scared it’s going to happen, I’m scared I’m going to do it. I don’t want to but I’m scared I can’t help it. I want the pain to stop, I want to feel free. I want to be normal. I don’t want to die but it feels like it’s the only way. Kind of feels like an itch that needs to be scratched.
