It’s the same thing every day. I wake up praying God will get rid of her. I avoid my parents because I don’t trust them with my s***. I apply to a summer job I know I won’t get. I play video games that aren’t even satisfying any more. I ask God about 5 more times to get rid of her. I take a shower and tell myself the entire story of everything I’ve been ruminating over. I pray for my best friends whom I worry about and can’t live without. I pray God will get rid of her again and change everyone’s lives for the better, except hers. I take a NyQuil to fall asleep. I haven’t been truly happy since March. I haven’t been at peace since December. I won’t get help for who knows how long. Even if my emotions improve, their situation won’t, and that’s what infuriates me.
