I cheated on my boyfriend and ruined my life. When we broke up, I fucked other dudes to forget about him but I always thought of him while doing it. Hes the only person who ever made me feel loved and I regret cheating so desperately.
I got a fuckbuddy and taught him how to f*** like my ex just so I could c**. I let myself get into positions where I was manipulated, used, blackmailed with my nudes, ect… bc I couldnt get over the guilt I felt.
Me and my ex got back together for a short time, I was watching relationship help/advice videos to try to learn to be better for him but the f****** guilt was too much. In the end, I lost myself. My trying became pushing and he blocked me out of nowhere. I was so hurt and confused at first, then salty, then I got blackout drunk and cried in the parking lot to my parents.
Now, a week has gone by and I dont wake up hatng myself anymore. I dont need go down the list to see what I need to apologize for today. I am a better version of myself today than I was then.
When I was drunk I told my parents how much I loved them and how I wished I could just say it(my fam is emotionally detached), now everyone says ‘ i love you ‘. I havent said that to my dad in years.
I want to thank my ex for teaching me so much abt love and life but he aint gonna see this, lol.
I just want anyone reading this to know that if it aint okay, it aint the end. Life can be good to you if you are good to others.
