2 years ago I found out my girlfriend of two years was cheating on me . I know i’m just 16 but and I don’t know what a “serious relationship” is yet but we texted eachother all the time , met up every saturday and wednesday during school weeks , every day during the summer and she was always there for me when I was going through tough times . We wrote songs together and I honestly haven’t had as much fun with anything/anyone since . I confronted her about it when I found out and she didn’t reply , she blocked me . Two of my best friends helped me through the grieving process but it’s not all gone . I never found out what I was doing wrong in the relationship or why she turned to someone else without telling me . I just want to fix myself for the benefit of future relationships but I don’t know what to fix because I never got any closure . It’s been effecting me a lot more recently because I have feelings for a different girl but I’m afraid to do anything about it because I don’t want her to get hurt and I’m afraid the same thing might happen again . All these memories from that first relationship pop up in my dreams or I daydream about them , sometimes I even hum the songs we wrote together . I can’t seem to let go or improve myself because I probably won’t ever know what’s wrong with me in the first place . I am diagnosed psychoaffective and when I think of those songs they take over and those emotions all come back to me , I’ve had these depressive episodes while I was with her but this is on a whole new level and I just want this cycle to stop but I can’t make it happen