I hate myself and I don’t want to exist but I’m too p**** to kill myself. I’m jealous of all my friends and family. I hate existing and nothing brings me joy outside of smoking weed and watching YouTube. Also food cuz im fat and I hate my situation. I couldn’t be with my son cuz his mom. Speaking of mom’s I hate my own and my father. I wasn’t raised properly and raised myself. I have no one to talk to and don’t have a deep connection with anyone. My upbringing ruined my future self of any kind of healthy relationship. I grew up in private school all my life and right when high school starts my family is broke so I went to public school. I lost all my friends I went to school with and didn’t know anyone in high school cuz I didn’t go to elementary or middle. I really hate everything. It bring me joy when others hurt and are in pain. I’m feast off others misery so they know how I feel every second of every day.