So sick of this disassociation. It feels like I’ve been stuck in a dream for the past 3 years. My life just feels empty and devoid of value. I don’t care about anyone anymore. Everyone around me feels like a stranger and I feel nothing for the most important people in my life. I see the world through a sheet of glass, never really forming a meaningful connection with my surroundings. I’ve lost interest in almost everything it seems. Videogames are boring. No novel or TV show can hold my interest for very long and I often find myself curling up on my bed and just lying there for lengthy periods of time, doing nothing. I’m so detached from my surroundings that my ability to focus is severely impaired, and despite the fact that I’m sixteen years old, I have failed to get my drivers license even though I’ve been working on it since I was fifteen. My reaction time is just too slow and I can’t process anything that’s going on around me. It’s dangerous and pointless to try. I feel sadness, boredom, frustration, and monotony everyday and yet I can’t cry. I don’t think I recognize myself, or even remember what it feels like to do that. I see my body as a doll that I have to clean and dress up everyday. My mind feels like my only reality and my only sense of existence. I think and think and think just to pass the time. I want things to change, and yet, at the same time I don’t. I miss my family and friends. I feel like I haven’t seen them in years and yet I see them every day. I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want my brother to leave. I want my mom to stay with me forever. I’m taking anti depressants that seem to be helping quite a bit, but the disassociation is just as strong as ever. I don’t know what’s causing it.