This is a long one and a dousey:
I am almost 35 and have never really had a career. I have had jobs, but never a career.
My path was derailed by my own choosing, I met my current bf while I was in university and working part time. He is almost twice my age. I gave up the university and went part time and got a job full time, as we were renting. Living with him was an escape from my overly critical family. Fast forward almost 10 years, I have a child with him, I again, delayed myself as my youngest has speech delays, im early 30s at this point, again I have had jobs lasting months at a time. But my jobs get overwhelming for his workload so I leave.
Now he is making lots of money, however, I need to get a career going. and technically we are okay financially. However, that is not good enough for me, I have been living a life, not for me but for the benefit of everyone else. Not that I regret my kids, but I want something for me.
I have been on several interviews, had 2 horribly abusive jobs last year, that I had to leave. I went on several interviews thinking good karma would come my way because of the BS I had to deal with in the workplace but so far it hasn’t worked out in my favour. Maybe I am not meant to work or have a career, but instead fulfill others dreams, maybe that is my dream and purpose is to make other dreams happen for others.
Its a confusing state to be in when people ask, “what do you do” Because I feel like now that the kids are in school, what do I have really do, not much. And people judging you, everyone else has a career, I always wanted that for me. I have to learn to accept that maybe that wont happen for me and to settle just for a job.
Forgive me, the depression and reality sets in and its hard to keep it inside.
I hope everyone enjoys valentines day.
All Comments
It is never to late to fix things, never place a cap on what you can or can not do regardless of your situation.
From what you have said, you are roughly 35 and he is twice your age or 70 and he is earning heaps of money and you don’t need to work.
My suggestion is that you remain at home and enjoy the position he has provided for you and bear in mind that he won’t be able to continue working and earning his income for ever, so perhaps prepare for when he retires and make sure you have enough money or assets put away, for the years when he does not have an income anymore.
There will come a time when he will need your love and support in different ways, because of the age disparity and it will be great for you both, for you to be there for him 24/7 and to enjoy his retirement with him, without work expectations on you, when he is no longer able to work himself.
Perhaps you should look towards a future when he is no longer with you, because he is probably going to die 30 years sooner than you will, because that’s the way it is, especially when you are involved with someone twice your age and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, more power to you and lucky him.
There will be the difference in your ages to reconsider your options when he has passed and what you want to do then and if you still want a career, soon enough then, to perhaps work towards that career, if that is what you want and to have your cake and eat it too.
You might find that you are terribly lonely and want another person to live with and have a relationship with, I know I was and I eventually met a woman who was ideal to my needs and we have been together these 5 past years.
I charge her a minimum rent of $5 weekly plus $45 to expenses and she has her own bedroom and lives with me as my tenant and thus has no legal right to my assets, home or possessions, which is a lot more convenient than a pre-nup if she decides to leave me for whatever reason, while I have changed my Will in her favour, if I predecease her in the meantime, so that she is not cast aside, if I predecease her, with nothing from the time we were together and the happiness we enjoy together, now and further down the track.
If you decide to have someone in your life, after he has passed, only date people who you can see, feel, touch and fuck and not an invisible person on a dating app, who will probably extort you for money.