• 7 months ago

I decided i wanted to study at university. I had been teeming with excitement to and study and live my life where I wanted to in a beautiful city. This excitement made me turn my school life around, I went from UUU to A*CC. I decided to actually try, to actually do something for myself.

Results day came, and I was 2 UCAS points off my course requirements.

The Uni said I could study there if I undertook a foundation year. The admissions officer said I was overqualified and should look elsewhere. I was determined to take it though.

My mother deemed this extra year ‘financially demanding’ (it wasn’t) and essentially ‘made’ me go through clearing to go to a different uni, in a different city, completely changing everything I had set out for myself.

For a month or two I was happy as the excitement of university overwhelmed me, and was living it large going out most nights, doing questionable substances with newfound friends. Eventually, this stopped working and the pain of ‘my’ decision was creeping up on me.

I became miserable. All I could think about is what could have been, the life I could have been living, I could have kept up with my studies, I could have looked out of my window every morning and saw a view which I was content with.

I let my parents dictate my life, and I hate myself for it. It isn’t easy to resist strict parenting when you’ve lived under it for 18 years, but I wish it was. Part of me will always resent my mother for the way she handled it. Maybe that part of me will die out in a few months too.

I worked for these fucking years. – I put the effort in to turn my school life around, but I didn’t choose the fruits of my labour. That was my moment. But she made it hers.

Defy your parents. Do what you love, do what you want. But make sure it’s you that comes first. No one else. Make sure you make the right decision.

Simply Confess