I’ve truly been in love and she ruined over a decade long period of time to where I absolutely do not love, I don’t even like her. Havent even spoken to her in over 15 years. But she can’t leave me alone or stay away, keep distance or even respect.

It was the strangest thing I have ever had to do and it took every bit of strength I had in me, but I had to force myself to hate her for real reasons. Being seriously real about what this woman was and her intentions, her thinking and how she felt about me based on her actions and what she was doing to me, through other people who had me by the balls, intentionally, for honestly no reason. It took years. I had to brain wash myself over years. It was absolutely the hardest thing I ever had to do, because it was mixed in with so much other crazy s*** going on, and I had no one I could talk to or vent to or lean on. It was brutal, but it’s life, that’s the way s*** goes sometimes, life is not fair, but I think the worst part about it is it was so bad, everything plus me forcing myself to believe things and think a different way, like I said brainwashing myself, I’ve said it before it was like grabbing my own brain with both hands and twisting it in a direction it doesn’t want to go, it’s seized up, I think that period of time “short circuited” a part of my brain related certain things and fried it out so it’s, well, its fried. And it posses me off that I had to go through it, but like I said, that’s life, I made a stupid mistake diverting mixed up with this crazy b**** and thinking she could never hurt me.

I don’t love her now. Remotely. I know she means nothing but harm in very negative ways even to this day based on words right from people’s mouths, s*** they had no business knowing. S*** that threatens relationships at places I work that have nothing to do with her. She’s insane and on my op of everything now with much baggage. She also ruined herself for me. I dont want that now. She has done so much damage to me unprovoked, I have long been at the point where I hate her. Truly. I feel like I would towards my worst enemy and I loved this woman unconditionally at one point. I would STILL if she hadn’t pushed me away and tried to destroy me and continues to try in pretty much every way imaginable.

She’s an enemy. Don’t know why, but alright.