I miss him. I loved him. It was a long distance love. We said we loved eachover every night but he didnt want to be offical. He was a f*** boy. He flirted with other girls infront of me. But i was in a relationship. I was being treated badly and he made me feel like love really was a posibility for someone like me. I fucked up. But so did he. But nothing mattered at the end. Because 2 years ago he ended his life. And ever since ive been questioning my own worth. Or how things couldve been different if i wasnt asleep and i had just checked up on him. It came out of no where. He hid his depression so well. I feel like i piss everyone off around me when i talk about him. I search his name and read articles about him to cry. I need that outburst of emotions because sometimes i just feel numb. I didnt even know his family. His friends dont talk to me anymore. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I still message him. I send him paragraphs every once in a while. I just f****** miss him. Why did you have to do it callum .-.