• 1 month ago
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My mother passed away when I was 26, I’m 30 now. It was a sudden diagnosis of metastasized stage IIII correctal colon cancer spread throughout her entire body to even her brain and cutting off her femoral artery. I give thanks to God that he took her home fast, but honestly, I’m destroyed. I can’t watch social media videos of families revealing to their parents that they’re expecting. My mother barely had me by the skin of her teeth. I was fiance’d up at the time she left this realm. I wanted to do all those creative pregnancy announcements, and film it obviously. I wanted, ((I)) wanted to put a granddaughter or grandson in her arms. To see the light of the world in her eyes. To watch my father and her light up knowing I was pregnant. I wanted a husband that stood at my side equal. I wanted, I wanted, I wanted….

My mother isn’t here.

I have never even had a pregnancy scare.

I’ve never married.

Men do not seek me out and the ones who do are old enough to be my dad or uncle or elderly figure.

This pain is so deep…

The Mariana’s trench cannot compete.

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