The Friday before last I had s** with someone I considered a close friend. He would call me sis and family and I called him brother on occasion. Really close. Well before we had s** we had hung out a few days before and we both drank and he admitted some deep dark things to me, a side of him that he had never shown me before. He said he intended to commit suicide before his 22nd birthday and mimed “how he would do it” with a needle in his elbow. He cried! He told me terrible things about hurting his ex a girl I’ve grown up with and love dearly! I admitted some things myself having to do with a suicide attempt months ago and how my heart was broken by a man but my confessions paled in comparison to his.
His ex messaged me saying he had texted her and mentioned me. She warned me away from him but I felt so numb in the face of his confessions.she hadn’t even known that we hung out before.
He asked me a few days later to come over and drink with him and some friends and I said yes. We didn’t talk about anything he’d said and he had already told me not to mention it to his ex. As we progressively became more drunk he started openly coming on to me and we made out a few times at the bonfire. We ended up having s** that night. Its foggy now but I felt happy actually happy and he said it was the best time he’d had in a long time. During that night he didn’t pull out. The next few days passed and he didn’t say anything to me and finally I broke down and messaged him. He said it was all a mistake and he’s truly sorry all the while like he’s breaking my heart, that he’s in love with someone who he told me he had broken all contact with and how he had to tell her about that night, and how could I do this to him while he was so drunk and that I knew how he felt about this other woman? He made it out like I had raped him taken advantage of him, while i was sober and he was “beyond intoxicated.” I have been drunk maybe three times before and was and am so scared by his accusations while I’m not even sure he knew what he was saying what he was accusing me of. I told him my family would take care if me and he got angry about me telling my “whole f ing family” when I’ve just told my mom i am going to need to take a pregnancy test. I feel so bad wondering did I take advantage of him? I told him that night that I wanted to wait and he said okay but we had s** anyways. The conversation ended with me saying you dont know me I hope you never do and he said honestly i dont i didn’t think you would let something like that happen. I know where my heart lies and i never wanted that to happen. I said go away, then again go away I didnt know how much you had to drink.