This is my first time posting on a confession site, so I am not sure how I am supposed to—express myself.
Im a 15 years old girl who had it easy for most of my life. I was born in an African country and i migrated when I was two in an European country. My mom worked her a** off to get me to the best schools and basically just to give me the very best so that I could have opportunities.
We’ve had issues before, fights. I lie a lot, and it always escalates to the point where it explodes and I feel like I always put my mom in an embarrassing position.
I also have a little to no dedication to anything I do, people told me I had talent for anything I did in my life, I always had supportive people around me. However I get tired of stuff easily. This is because I’m lazy, and I hate putting effort to anything I do.
Im also a thief.
Now that I think back about it, I’ve been stealing since I was around 5-6. It started with trying to steal sweets, then stealing chocolate to a friend’s neighbor, then stealing money to my step father (still all around at 6 years old). Obviously, me being a 6 years old, I got caught or gave myself nearly all those times.
As I mentioned before, I always had everything I needed. I had, and still have, absolutely no reason to steal.
I started stealing in shops. I got caught twice. They made both my step dad and my mom pay money (I even got forbidden from entering this one shop for 1 year). I got caught stealing at my school’s cafeteria too. I went to the director and got expelled for 3 days.
My mom was always mad when I misbehaved, she lectured me. I truly felt bad that I got caught, not for stealing. I hated being lectured. But then, the next day everything was back to normal, and we never talked about those time I misbehaved.
I think it’s what made me continue. I didn’t really feel the weight of my actions.
I stole again, I got caught. My mom was so disappointed and sad, like I’ve never seen her before.
I hate being a burden, the feeling I hate the most is disappointing people, especially my mom. I’ve never felt this disgusted with myself.
What had I become ? A lying thief ?
I don’t know what made the fact that I stole again so different this time—it was probably the accumulation of everything I had done.
My mom has enough.
I’m being threatened to get kicked out if I don’t change. I don’t know how to change. The change she’s talking about is radical. I want to change, I don’t ever want my mom to be sad over me and stupid stuff I do. She’s given me so much for me to waste it like that.
Lying is an habit at this point, I lied for everything and anything. Just to make myself special, just to be interesting (people never knew I lied, except for my mom, I’ve always been very sociable and liked).
I don’t steal anymore. I promised my mom and myself that I wouldn’t ever again. I lie less than before. I still have an issue with motivation but I’m working through it, because I should.
Im grateful Im realizing that I can do better and that I should want better for myself too. It’s not too late, since I am only 15 years old and haven’t fucked my grades up yet.
Just saying that disappointing your mother is the worst feeling ever.
And also that I think I’m a bad person, in general.
UGH THIS WHOLE CONFESSION DIDNT MAKE SENSE I DOUBT ANYONE READ IT BUT IGNORE PLZ PLZ I WAS JUST PUTTING SOME ORDER IN MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS.
