there are so many things id like to change about myself… but i dont know how… i’ve been trying for so long now and i havent even told my family about it. i have a sister who will probably understand… but i know she doesn’t need to listen to me cry right now.. she’ll probably think i’m a coward and that i should tough it out… but i don’t know… my family doesnt know that sometimes i just sit in my room and cry about life… about my life… about everything… i just think and cry… there’s nothing wrong with my situation.. my family provided for me, i have a good education and all is well… but sometimes i just wish i had that thing money can’t buy… happiness… genuine happiness… or love… or something… i dont want my life to be meaning less… i want to die happily and looking forward to whatever comes after death… i want to… i don’t… i cant describe it but i want to brake out of this cage.. i… ahhh….